For Early, Middle, Late Grief…and Beyond
When your life has been turned upside down by a death, you just WANT THE PAIN TO STOP. You can’t imagine feeling any better than you do right now, and YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
The One At A Time As You Need It Single Session Consult
Set Your Own Price $125 – $175 USD
Grief is hard.
It’s probably the hardest thing you will ever go through.
…BUT YOU KNOW THAT ALREADY, DON’T YOU?
And you just want the pain to stop. The people around you can’t seem to help. You fear you are doing this all wrong because feeling this bad can’t possibly be right. Maybe you’re just going crazy? And it feels like you are going to feel this way forever.
You’re not going to feel this way forever. I promise you won’t.
But it sure can feel that way.
The real problem is we live in a death-phobic culture. We don’t talk about how to deal with grief. Then when we experience it, we have no idea what to expect.
You’re barely sleeping, waking up in the middle of the night, or having trouble falling asleep. And even if you are sleeping, you feel exhausted all the time.
Your life as you knew it has been totally turned upside down. You feel disoriented and confused by what’s happening to you.
You don’t know what to do so you’re just muddling through. Maybe you manage to put on a decent face in public, but in private you’re falling apart.
And you just want to know what to do. You’re longing to get back to a normal life, but if you’re really honest, you don’t believe anything will ever be normal, stable, or good ever again.
IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT!
You have tried so many things but nothing is really helping.
• You’ve tried being strong but the grief keeps breaking through like an emotional 2×4.
• You’ve tried to push through it only to end up exhausted and losing the fight anyway.
• You’ve tried stuffing it only to have it breakthrough at the worst possible times.
• You’ve tried to manage it only to find the grief managing you.
• You’ve tried being analytical, trying to figure out what triggered the current wave of grief only to end up with no helpful answers.
• You’ve tried reading books but concentrating is hard. There are some good books out there and they can help, but they can’t answer your specific questions.
• You’ve spent some time in Facebook support groups with mixed results. Even if you found a good one you’re apt to be swamped by the “you never get over it” crowd. And those groups are loaded with people who are still grieving years later because they never had good support at the beginning.
• You’ve even tried counseling but unless you were lucky enough to find someone who really understands grief (they don’t teach this in therapy school), you’ve probably not gotten the help you need. And you’ve wasted a whole bunch of time and money.
None of this is your fault. Nobody ever taught you what grief is and how to go through it…LARGELY BECAUSE THEY DON’T KNOW EITHER.
You start telling yourself you’re a failure at this grief thing, and you begin to really believe it. And that just makes you feel even worse…more vulnerable and even ashamed. Then you withdraw from what social support you have and end up grieving alone for a very long time.
(Trust me, I’ve seen it all before.)
So what’s holding you back from getting the help you need?
Belief #1: You believe grief is forever, and nothing is going to change that.
There are plenty of people who will tell you that you will never get over it. THEY ARE WRONG.
Are you going to miss the person who died? Of course, you are, but you will not be grieving, actively grieving 24/7, for the rest of your life.
The first few months are horrible, but the acute pain gradually lessens, and what remains gets easier to bear.
You are changed by the experience, but in time you can rebuild your life. It’s a life different from the one you had before, but it can be happy and fulfilling nonetheless.
Belief #2: You believe talking about it makes it worse.
Stories are at the heart of grief. Not telling them (in the right places and to the right people), pretty much insures all of the memories, and all of the love are going to get buried.
Sharing your stories allows your memories to live on in your heart, free from the pain of your loss.
Not telling your stories creates a toxic stew leading to depression and perpetual grieving.
Belief #3: You believe your grief is too private to share.
And to a large extent, it is, but most of us need a balance of private time and time with others.
The real question isn’t are you a private griever? But rather, are you surrounding yourself with the right kind of people?
Too many people find themselves alienated from the people around them who are telling them to “just get over it,” or “you’re being a downer,” or “just be strong,” and the slew of other unhelpful things people hear while they are grieving.
Private grieving is preferable to sharing with people who don’t understand, but the isolation can get in the way of healing.
Belief #4: You believe you “should” be able to get through this on your own.
Let’s stop with the “shoulds,” shall we?
There are no shoulds when it comes to grief.
There is a typical pathway grief follows, but everyone does it their own way, in their own time.
But unless you are already well versed in what normal grief is (which most people aren’t), it is so easy to take a u-turn from which you never recover.
Without a solid education on what to expect from grief, way too many people get well and truly stuck and end up living lives that are a mere shadow of what their life could be.
Belief #5: You believe your grief keeps you connected to the person who died.
Grief is NOT what keeps you connected.
The LOVE you shared is what keeps you connected.
The early days of grief and the 24/7 obsession with the person who died will generally yield to a more gentle form of remembrance, one which connects us through the love we shared rather than the grief we’re going through.
Belief #6: You believe your grief is unique so no one can understand.
Everyone’s grief is unique. The person who died and the relationship you had are unique, and your grief is going to follow its own, unique path.
As unique as your grief may be, there are so many ways you and the right people (those educated in grief and those going through it) can find common ground.
So often, I’ll sit in a group listening to one person’s story while all the heads around the table are nodding. It’s not an identical story, but there is enough common ground for everyone to relate. And that’s a good thing.
Belief #7: You believe there is something wrong with you because you “should” be over it by now.
At the risk of repeating myself, there are no “shoulds.” That said. most people move through the active grieving process in a year or two.
Those who feel stuck in their grief after that are generally those who lacked proper support early on.
The good news is it is never too late to get the support you need.
No one has a magic wand to make grief better…
But imagine what might happen if you stopped struggling with your grief and started working with it instead.
You would feel less vulnerable and anxious so you could stop worrying about whether there’s really something wrong with you.
You would experience hope, knowing you will move through your grief and develop the capacity to rebuild a happy and meaningful life.
You would eliminate the shame of grief. Stop telling yourself you’re failing at grief, and stop the folks who are telling you “to just get over it” fast.
Don’t believe me?
I know because I’ve been through it myself. And I’ve helped thousands of people like you get through their grief and rebuild their lives.
And I am so looking forward to helping you get there too, just like I did with Katherine…
A true story about how wrong you can be, and how a single conversation can set things right.
Katherine called me in a complete and utter panic. It had been 6 weeks since her husband of 60+ years had died.
And she wasn’t getting over it!!!
She was terrified there was something horribly wrong with her, and she was going to feel this way for the rest of her life.
She had no idea what normal grief looked like, how long it would take, or the particular vulnerabilities of long-term spouses.
She’d never experienced anything like this.
(My guess is she was one of those people who was thinking others should hurry up and get over it until….she found herself in the early days of grief expecting them to pass like a common cold and they weren’t.)
In less than an hour, she got the education she so desperately needed…
…she was in the very early days of her grief journey, and no one expected her to be “getting over it” in 6 weeks.
Her relief was palpable.
This is exactly what she needed to know at that moment, and it made all the difference in how her grief and life unfolded from there.
* names have been changed to protect client privacy.
I see too many people online who have been grieving for years without the support or the resources to move through their grief and rebuild their lives.
How long can you afford to wait?
Consider These Typical Time Frames
IN THE FIRST 3-6 MONTHS
This period is characterized by confusion, disorientation, exhaustion, and feeling overwhelmed. Waves of grief regularly swamp people. They are plagued by images of illness and death which routinely disrupt sleep.
With adequate education and support, people in the first 3-6 months of grief understand what they are experiencing is normal. They are much more able to be present for their grief and ride each wave as it comes.
They have put their fear and worry to rest so they can actually grieve.
Those without support are scared. They often think they’re going crazy or there is something seriously wrong with them.
Many feel the need to do something but have no idea what that might be.
While others are trying to tough it out alone but just feel like they’re drowning.
AT THE END OF THE FIRST YEAR
At the end of the first year, people who have had adequate support, are still grieving, but their grief has been moving and changing throughout the year.
They are beginning to integrate the person who died into their life as they go forward.
And they are actively thinking about the future they want to create.
At the end of the first year, many people without support appear as if the death just happened.
How do I know?
That’s when they contact me.
IN THE SECOND AND THIRD YEARS
Those with support are actively rebuilding their lives.
They know what they want. They are integrating the experience of the death, the person who died, and their grief into their life and sense of self.
They are becoming whole again. It’s a different whole than before, but it is becoming a fully integrated whole with an intact sense of self rather than walking through life with a huge gapping hole.
People without support often get to a point where they are doing OK, but they’re just OK. They’re going through the motions of life without any sense of meaning or purpose.
Without a compelling reason to re-engage in life, many stay in this place for years.
Others will actually report they are feeling worse as time goes by.
In essence, those who get education and support tend to thrive. They get through their grief faster. And they are better prepared to build the life they really want while carrying forward their love for the person who died.
I want you to be in this group, not the one just marking time with the joy sucked out of it.
Before we go any further,
let me introduce myself…
My name is Susan Fuller
…and I love my life.
During my introduction to coaching in the late 1990s, I did an exercise to figure out what was essential for my happiness.
After writing down pages and pages of things I thought I wanted, it all boiled down to 2 things…a dog and a house in the country.
By 2005 I had both.
My first dog died in 2012, but I have another and a slew of dog friends I’ve cared for over the years. There have been some ups and downs along the way, but I still have my dog and my house in the country.
Everything else is a bonus and includes camping trips, beach walks, and building things (I learned a lot as a volunteer for Habitat for Humanity).
Every death I’ve experienced has opened doors to new possibilities which continue to enrich my life.
Don’t get me wrong, I’d give it all back to have my parents, partners, and pets back again. But since that’s impossible, I have grabbed onto the gifts, lessons, and opportunities of loss to create a deeply meaningful life.
My mother’s death was my introduction to hospice and prompted me to go back to school because I had to go “work with them.”
And I did, and I have off and on for over 30 years.
In my private practice (therapy turned coaching), working with grief, my specialties evolved to include creative expression, creative blocks, and personal transformation. On the surface, those may not sound like they go together, but they most certainly do. And you’ll find elements of all of it whenever you work with me.
I firmly believe there is a happy and meaningful life waiting for everyone who is grieving when they have the support to work with their grief rather than fighting against it.
Some will reject that view because they can’t imagine ever getting through their grief. Many will nurture their grief for years until the grief becomes more a part of their life than the love they shared with the person who died. Needless to say I do not recommend this approach.
What I do recommend is learning about normal grief so you can allow yourself to go through it without feeling like you’re doing it wrong. Learning to go through it without feeling like you have to put on a happy face to keep the ghouls at bay. And learning to go through it without turning into the energizer bunny trying to outrun it.
It is about learning to go through grief without trying to tough it out, manage it, analyze it, or any of the myriad ways people bumble their way through grief. It is all most people know how to do.
But there are better ways of tending to your grief so you really can move through it. So you can rebuild a happy and meaningful life without forgetting the person who died, but rather, integrating them into who you are going forward.
There is life after grief, and I look forward to helping you get through to the other side.
The One At A Time As You Need It Single Session Consult
Many people spend a tremendous amount of time and energy worrying something is terribly wrong with them. This is especially true during the first few months when your grief can feel more like a Tilt-a-Whirl ride than anything else.
I can put most of your concerns to rest in a single session.
Or you might be struggling with the fear of forgetting as life begins to pull you back in, and you stop thinking about the person who died 24/7.
Or maybe you’ve stalled in your recovery as you’ve moved into the second or third year. You may be doing ok, but just ok. You want a life with more purpose and passion but have no idea how to get there.
These scenarios, and many more, can benefit from an educated, compassionate, and objective view of your situation.
HERE IS WHAT YOU GET WITH A SINGLE SESSION CONSULT
A full 60-minute Zoom meeting.
These sessions are designed to educate, reassure and support you no matter where you are in the grieving process.
You can ask questions, get resources, learn what’s normal and what’s not…but more than anything you will be respectfully listened to by someone who knows how grief works.
I will also be able to give you my best recommendations for tools and resources uniquely tailored to where you are in your grief journey.
7 Days to Ask Additional Questions by Email or Text
I don’t want you to leave with unanswered questions. Though you may feel complete for the moment, you will probably have new ideas, insights, and questions, as our conversation begins to settle in. I encourage you to ask any follow-up questions after your session.
A Recording of Your Session
I’ll be happy to record your session and send you the link.
Priority Scheduling for Additional Calls
These sessions are designed to stand alone rather than luring you into weekly sessions when you don’t need them. That said, sometimes one is not enough. Once you are my client, you will always get priority over new clients for my limited availability.
Priority On the Waitlist for Weekly Coaching (if and when you want it)
I don’t recommend weekly anything (counseling, therapy or coaching) in the first few months after a death. Why? It’s just too much for grieving people who are already overwhelmed. It ends up being a huge waste of time and money.
Weekly coaching can be helpful toward the end of the first year and into the second. At this point you’re no longer trying to figure out how to get through the day or learning to live with the ongoing waves of grief. Now you are beginning to think about the future even though it still feels like a black hole rather than an opportunity to build a new and well integrated life.
Special Invitation List to Participate in New Programs
I run beta versions of all new programs with a limited number of participants. As a client, you will always have first access to these programs.
Years after a death, you might still need some help.
Here is Anne’s story and how a single conversation solved the problem.
I worked with Anne 10 years ago after her husband died. She’d been doing well and continued to do well until…
The holidays had her struggling once again.
She thought she was a failure for falling apart over the holidays, which included other significant days personal to them…birthdays and anniversaries, etc.
I was able to educate her about how any special date, event, or holiday, can trigger renewed grief even years later.
After her husband died, she abandoned the old holiday traditions, and was missing them. So we strategized how to make them special again in ways that would also honor her husband.
She contacted me recently to say she is helping friends entertain this year and is looking forward to it.
We solved the immediate problem, but we weren’t done.
I asked her about how life was going. It turned out she was rather adrift, which can happen in anyone’s life, even when not grieving.
As I asked some questions, it became clear she had a pretty good idea what she’d like to be doing, but hadn’t figured out exactly how to do it.
We brainstormed a bit, and gradually began to put a plan together. By the end of the session, she had a plan for moving forward with a meaningful project she’d been thinking about for a long time.
It was a big one and is still in process, but last I heard, she was getting things in place.
We did all of this in an hour.
* names have been changed to protect client privacy.
You may get what you need in one session. Many do.
But this may also be the first step in being well and truly supported every step of the way on your grief journey.
THE CHOICE IS ALWAYS YOURS, and you can structure your support in the best way possible for you.
Set Your Own Price: $125-$175 USD
HERE’S HOW IT WORKS
I want you to feel good about what you pay me. And for my business to remain sustainable, I need to feel good about it too.
So for Single Session Consults, I am very comfortable with a Set Your Own Price model.
The recommended price represents a combination of my comfort level and what others in the field charge. The lowest price reflects the lowest sustainable price I can offer. The higher suggested price is for those who feel so inclined. Within that range, the choice is yours and will be gratefully received.
This is not a “pull a price out of a hat” proposition. I am asking you to be as intentional about the price you pay as I have been in setting it.
So here’s what I suggest…
1. Check-in with your intuition, your gut, and your heart to see what feels right and reasonable.
2. Check-in with your bank account.
3. Find a comfortable balance between your heart and your bank account to find your resonant price.
4. That’s the price you pay.
*If paying the minimum sustainable price will leave you destitute, without food, shelter, or medical care, please reach out before you schedule your session. I will do what I can to accommodate you.
THE NO GUARANTEE GUARANTEE
I know for a fact you will get a ton of value out of our session, but I get it if you’re not convinced. Let’s face it, you don’t know me yet. So you can pay me after we meet. If you didn’t get any value out of your session, don’t pay me. It’s really that simple.
Ready to Get Started?
HERE’S WHAT YOU NEED TO DO NEXT…
- Fill out the application below (be sure to include times that work for you).
- I will send an email confirming one of those times (or some alternatives if necessary).
- I will send you the Zoom link for your session once we have a date (unless you prefer a phone call).
- I will also send you a payment link. Feel free to pay before or after our session.
If you don’t hear back from me, please check your spam folder. You can always call/text me at (401) 227-7951 if you have any concerns.
Susan has been helping people thrive for over 30 years.
Here is what some of those people have to say…
Refreshing! Asked more questions than my therapist ever has.
Thanks again for all your encouragement in our classes…I wouldn’t be where I am today if it weren’t for you and your gentle ways of teaching.
I originally hired Susan as my coach to help me stay focused. She has a great way of holding you to what you’ve said you wanted – not that you can’t change your mind, but she helps you really explore where you stand. In a way, she’s keeping current with me better than I am! She helps me look at my unexamined assumptions and keeps reminding me of what will be helpful.
When I define myself, as wife, daughter, mentor, friend, the definition that is at the very core of my being is ‘artist.’ That part of me was dead for almost 3 years – an unbelievable, unbearable loss. I thought that part of my life was over.
I am once again a functioning, productive artist and it is exhilarating! The support and encouragement, as well as the gentle accountability, that I have gotten from Susan’s programs have truly changed my life as well as opening my eyes to so many ways I can still express my creativity. I’m an artist again!
I love your work and believe in everything you’re putting out to the world. Susan- you have such a gentle, passionate way about you – your voice is sincere and authentic…
Susan creates a safe and supportive atmosphere. Everyone is free to explore without pressure and be supported. And that openness and support is really helpful in connecting with one’s real desires. Susan does really well with meeting everyone where they are with respect, humor and support.
I cannot begin to tell you the extent of how this workshop has been a transformation for how I view my life!
The impact of this class has deepened and widened with each passing day. This class really shifted my thinking, and more importantly, has led to some significant life changes for me.
I am beyond excited. Your group has made an incredible difference for me!! I have a focus and a direction that I did not have before!
Your wisdom, insight and sense of humor made the class so much fun and rich! I looked forward to every class and I miss it now.
Well… within two weeks I hope to be closing on a small cottage just two hours from my home in the city. A retreat to spend two or three days a week. I AM SO EXCITED!!! It’s been a long time coming. I know your class had a lot to do with the process in getting here. It helped me learn to get out of the way and let life happen and it helped me get more in touch with my own true nature. Learning to go for what my soul wants and needs. I’m very grateful.
I honestly don’t know where I would be without Susan’s help sorting out all the pieces. After a series of major losses within about a year and a half – death of my mother, my relationship ending, loss of my day job, my business closing its doors, not to mention the landscape of shattered dreams – I found myself clueless as to how to move forward in life.
Susan Fuller has helped me in so many ways recover from decades long compounded and complicated grief. She is down to earth, compassionate, and a really, really smart and talented professional! I have had a few therapists, counselors, and coaches before and while I certainly benefited from their assistance, Susan’s insight, caliber of advice and heart-based approaches are in a class by themselves. I have already recommended her several times to others!
Questions? I’ve Got Answers!
ARE THESE SINGLE SESSION CONSULTS JUST FOR EARLY GRIEF?
No. People have questions and need support at many times in the healing process.
Though my original intent was to help those in the first few months, there is no limit on when people have questions or need support. It doesn’t mean they need regular weekly anything. They just need an immediate answer.
Why is this coaching and not therapy?
Grief is NOT a mental health issue. It is a normal and natural response to loss. What is required is education, support and community.
I would add that we know how to grieve like we know how to love. The only difference is we are always second guessing grief because it feels so crazy.
CAN I SCHEDULE MORE THAN ONE SESSION?
Of course, you can schedule as many sessions as you like.
I find most people benefit from 1-2 sessions in the first few months of grief because they generally need to know what they are experiencing is normal (or not).
Though their grief is moving and healing them, many people benefit from more help as they begin to rebuild their lives. That’s when issues of meaning, identity and integration really kick in, and often take quite a bit more than a single session.
ISN’T THIS JUST A GLORIFIED SALES CALL?
Nope! You will get a ton of value out of our hour together. Further suggestions will depend on what you need which might be something I offer but is just as likely to be something I don’t.
WHY DON’T YOU OFFER WEEKLY COACHING?
Oh but I do. It’s just limited to 3-5 clients at a time.
I don’t offer weekly coaching to those in the first few months of grief because that’s not what people need.
What people need is a resource they can access on an as needed basis. Single session consults meet this immediate need.
I am unwilling to take advantage of vulnerable people by encouraged them to waste their time and money on weekly 1:1 coaching which is unlikely to make any difference in the trajectory of their grief.
After 6 months I evaluate potential clients on a case by case basis.
The folks who benefit most from weekly coaching are those who are actively and consciously rebuilding their lives. This is often the work of the second year not the first.
WHAT MAKES ME DIFFERENT FROM ALL THE OTHER HELP BEING OFFERED OUT THERE?
I believe grief is what heals you rather than a problem to be fixed.
Everyone else is offering to heal your grief.
Everything I do is designed to help you trust this process so you can allow the grief to heal you.
When you work with your grief rather than against it, you will move through the process more quickly and with greater ease along the way.
I DO NOT believe grief is a mental health issue, even when it lasts longer than a year.
Counselors and therapists view grief through the lens of mental disorders, even though most training programs never teach a single course on grief.
I do not see grief as a disorder because it isn’t.
In the mental health field, grief support usually ends after the first year or gets diagnosed as prolonged grief disorder.
On the contrary, I will work with you into the second and third years so you can fully complete the process of rebuilding a happy and meaningful life.
I do not believe we are meant to actively grieve forever.
You are forever changed by this experience. And you may have moments of sadness well into the future. None of that means you will live the rest of your life in profound grief. Your grief is a process that changes over time. It transforms from the early 24/7 obsession about the death into a deep and joyful remembrance of the person who lived.
I am not simply sharing my personal experience of grief.
Many people offering support are only offering what they know from their own personal experience. Many have no training or experience with a wide range of grieving people.
Though I certainly have personal experience with grief, I have also worked with thousands of people who are grieving. I have learned from each and every one of them, and the suggestions I make have been tried and tested time and time again.
I am not promoting a single solution for your grief.
Rather than selling one particular technique or process, I draw from a wealth of experience, allowing me to recommend a variety of approaches designed specifically for you and your situation.
Ready to Get Started?
Set your own price $125-$175 USD ($150 Recommended)
Let’s get you moving in the direction of healing and renewal.
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