Language always falls short when it comes to grief. Music, art, poetry, and movement probably grasp the struggle much more accurately than the words we end up using as approximations of an unfathomable experience. So I get the discomfort many feel with the word “accept,” especially since it has a connotation of agreeing with or […]

Please note: Not all deaths cause trauma. Not all grief is traumatic. But sometimes, for reasons that are not always clear, a death triggers a traumatic response. When it does, life becomes unmanageable for years until it is properly treated. Over the past couple of weeks, I have been hearing some horrific stories of loss.

My world turned upside down when my mother died. She was too young. I was too young. And my sister was way too young But lose her we did, and it changed the entire trajectory of my life..  It led me to therapy school (M.A. in Counseling Psychology). Not a particularly practical degree for hospice

Are you finding the right life balance while you’re grieving? The right balance between social activity and social isolation?  For many people who are grieving the inclination is to isolate.  After my mother died, I remember not even wanting to go into the grocery store. I couldn’t be around people living their normal lives when

Religious services can be fraught with discomfort.  Sometimes it’s as simple as being in such a public environment without the person you love. For others, it’s the looks of pity you may be getting from others. If religious services are difficult for you, here are some options: • Don’t go. Though it may feel obligatory,

As I’ve said elsewhere it is fine to skip the holidays entirely if you so choose. An alternative to skipping the holiday is to make it meaningful. Here are some meaningful gift ideas you might consider: • Photo albums or scrapbooks. • Frame a favorite photograph. • A collection of favorite recipes. • Give a

As with all things around the holiday when you’re grieving, it is ok to skip whatever you don’t feel up to doing. That includes all the decorations, but if you do want to decorate, here are some ideas to keep things simple, manageable, and meaningful. While some want to use the same decorations they’ve always

When it comes to the holidays doing it the same but different is probably the most popular option, and it’s a good one. You are only limited by your imagination Many of these ideas are ways of allowing the memory of your loved one to be present in the midst of your family traditions. Be

While some like to break with tradition and do everything differently, others find comfort in continuing with the traditions developed over many years. Many people find the continuity comforting. It also helps them feel more connected to the person who died rather than less. For others, it’s the exact opposite so do what feels right

When confronted with the holidays after someone you love has died, you have three viable options. You can do it differently, do it exactly the same, or do it the same with some modifications. There are no rights or wrongs. Whatever you decide, you will make a decision that is right for you. It will